Tag Archives: advice

Thought of the Day

I don’t care if you dislike me because I don’t fit your perception of what an Asian person is SUPPOSED to be like. I’m living my life how I am with no apologies. Accept me as an individual AND as an Asian person.

I’m not trying to “act white” or “act black” I’m Asian and have always been and always will be. American society is more than these two races despite selective histories public schools teach (although I think the public schools I have attended don’t do Black narratives or history justice).

I was taught to see myself through the lens of a White person or identify with the struggles of a Black person (which I cannot do because I am not Black) BECAUSE Nobody told me what it meant to be Asian. The history I learned was always written by some White scholar, taught by White teachers and never noted the first person narrative of an Asian person.

I didn’t learn about discrimination to Asians second-hand; I learned it through having undergone painful firsthand experiences, coupled with my gender, immigrant status (albeit from a Postcolonial Pacific oceanic country), emotional disorders, and queer identity (all of which very much intersect).

So take me for who I am. If my personality offends you, fine. If my race offends you, that’s never okay. If both offend you first ask yourself why.

What is an Asian supposed to be like, anyway? docile, harmonious, quiet, peaceful, good at math/science??! Perhaps sometimes for some people (yes I acknowledge this, however probably not all at once) but you wouldn’t think someone who is White who had a certain alignment of traits meant that the traits were true for ALL White people. Not ALL White people are racists.

*It’s not always the White people who struggle with racial ignorance by the way. People of Color struggle with internalized racism and may treat POC the same way they’ve been taught to devalue POC despite being POC themselves. Which is warped, which makes Racism itself even more warped.

That’s all. Thanks for reading.

*Made with spotty grammar but no excuses.


“19 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before I Turned 20 so I Didn’t Waste a Decade”

“19 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before I Turned 20 so I Didn’t Waste a Decade”

Regardless of whether you’re 20 or not, this is a list every woman should read. 


“You Gotta Be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be tough”

Here’s a throwback to the 90’s with an inspirational song that I think everyone can relate to.
I’ve been putting it on replay since the terror that plagues all college students has began. Finals. It’s that time of the year.
Rather than focusing on what I should be doing (power of procrastination, people) I’ll talk about how the institution I attend aka Smith College, has shaped me in my 2 years here. Also here’s some advice for you college prospects and current undergrads (that you definitely do not have to heed).
Just my take on things, in lyric line order:

1. “Challenge what the future holds” – think about your future, what major you have to declare, the professors who can guide you, and what doing your work no matter how painstaking it is at the moment, will bring good things (but alas you’ll see them at the end of the semester, year or when you graduate). Includes more fun/sometimes troublesome things like relationships, how they will last or not, that party you can skip to study up on something…..

2. “You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser” – related to #1 in challenging yourself sometimes to not procrastinate (irony of my blogging during necessary study/sleep time), the way you think, the way others think (it’s okay to disagree and people will respect you if you present yourself in a respectable manner not to mention you deserve to be respected regardless of your opinions as long as they aren’t racist, sexist or homophobic but again, just my take on things). Be bold enough to say yes to that coffee date with that cute guy or girl, and say “I can do it” when you apply to that internship for the U.N. It’s okay to say “no” to your friends when they ask you to pregame before a party if you’re not up for it or the party in the first place, and your friends should respect you for it. Think about things in the long run and how your decisions as of now will impact you.

3. “Herald what your mother said/Reading the books your father read” – Coming from a different culture, okay, three (look up third-culture-kid for those of y’all who don’t know) as a Kiwi-Chinese immigrant to the U.S. and after undergoing that arduous process known as assimilation, I finally learned American culture and went through years of American schooling. That schooling never taught me much about my own Chinese culture, I might add, nor how parts of the Transcontinental Railroad was built on Chinese labor and many Chinese died while doing so. The U.S. government’s thank-you was the Chinese exclusion act of 1882, I might add, but that’s a whole other story I will blog about. Anyway, back to Des’ree and giving advice. I respect my parents so much more now that I know parts of their histories (perks of being an East Asian Studies Major) and reading what they read as well as more due to complications of Mao Zedong’s Cultural Revolution. Respect your parents, folks. They brought you into this world and there might be some parts of themselves they don’t share with you, such as traumatic experiences and it is definitely hard to understand them when there’s a generational gap and you are not learning the same things they did X years ago (not that parents are easy to understand, that’s another blog-worthy story).

4. “Love will save the day” – Amen. ’nuff said. Love yourself and you will love others (the others can come later) but loving yourself is an arduous process. Which brings into the question of love itself. There are many different forms of love like self-love (which I fully promote), love of God, love of mankind, love of living things, the list goes on. Everyone deserves to be loved and everyone deserves a chance at life. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them. Love deeper and live fuller. Oh, and put Des’ree on repeat.

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