Tag Archives: zerotohero

It’s one of those [I hate the world] days

I’m sitting in the bathtub and eventually when the water is high enough, I lie down in the water with my feet towards the drain, Frida-esque.

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[What the water gave me – 1938 Frida Kahlo]

Perhaps Frida managed to see all that in the water a.k.a her life in the water. I, however, part simpleton and part drained from a long day saw this:

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[What Frida Taught me – Heather Horton]

But with shorter, fatter thighs and calves plus wide feet. Don’t hate because I actually don’t mind that part of my body. I’m completely okay with it and have been this way since maybe birth. That’s water for you. Or maybe life.

I don’t see anything and perhaps things are looking rather bleak and colorless. But then, that’s just quite literally what I see.

Suite No. 5 in C Minor by Bach about sums up how I feel. It’s a wistful song on the cello that goes up and down the minor scales with the melody soaring up a bit before it dips down into low notes.

I let the water down the drain and saw my body sort of sink into the bottom of the tub as I continue to lay until all the water drained. I guess I have more to think about death than life, and right now isn’t the happiest of times in my life but isn’t the worst.

By many standards, I should be very satisfied. To start with, that my college bathroom has a bathtub, for goodness’ sake. Fancy schmancy private school with a killer tuition my folks are paying for with no complaints though it costs the price of an extremely nice car to attend yearly (though I’m on financial aid) and by the time I graduate, my folks could have had four extremely nice cars. The only condition they put is that I do well in my studies and remind me to be healthy every now and then. My body has been weak since last year when I started my first year; I’ve caught just about everything going round and been working many jobs plus getting more and more work from unrelenting Professors.

People have been reminding me to take care of myself, though and last Spring since my depression set in again, I haven’t been the most conscientious of my health. A friend of mine passed away a bit more than a month ago, so now isn’t my best time exactly. But life goes on and I know how precious life and people are. I don’t need a bathtub to tell me that.

When the water drains with my body lying still in the tub, I’m thinking about how precious life is and how everything can pass away right before your eyes at an age as young as 17 – the age of my friend who had yet to experience going to college, a romantic relationship, get his first job, get married to the man he would fall in love with (now that prop 8 is overturned again) and grow old. I always was told how precious life was but never knew for myself until I experienced loss. 

That’s what the bathtub gave me today.


Furnishing my blog & Thank-you’s

Gee, blogging isn’t easy. For a technology simpleton like me, it took two days to get an image widget including all of one badge (yay!) on my blog. Not fully satisfied with the effects yet, but now I’m not frustrated or screaming at my idle computer screen. Not changing my tagline or blog name because personally I think both are honest, authentic and great. But that’s just me speaking. Currently participating in the zerotohero blog challenge and trying to commit to posting something every single day! We’ll see how that works out.

You too can participate by checking out this link: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/zero-to-hero/

A BIG HEARTFELT THANK YOU TO MY FOLLOWERS FOR READING MY POSTS!!!! I don’t think I’d still be writing on this blog without y’all. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being my inspiration. 

 

Keep it classy,

Angela .L

 


The beginning…[revisited]

Well I thought I would write a bit on my first blog (ever) after having been occasionally reading Jezebel, AutoStraddle, Racialicious and Angryasianman for a while now. All of those above mentioned blogs have been inspiring even if I haven’t quite totally agreed with some posts, not to mention Latoya Peterson’s speech on Otelia Cromwell day last year at my college was incredible.

Oh, I’m a Smith College student by the way, although if you’re reading this you might already know me. Or not, and that’s completely fine too…you’ll get to know me through this blog 🙂 Smith is doing very well on its way to making a better-informed person and a [baby] enthusiast of social justice, women’s rights, sexuality, civil rights for people of color and religion (both of these and interconnected, I’ll post a bit about both I promise!). Or so I think. I expect to know a lot more by the time I graduate and onwards since learning never stops unless you defy it. But that’s another story.

Oh, let’s get back to why I created the blog…slight digression there, hope you’ll forgive me. Classy. As. Femme. I suppose I’ll explain now. Classy, elegant, sophisticated: all what I aspire to be, and thus will keep the language of this blog clean as a starter. Those however, are end goals so it might take awhile. Femme: I do identify as a cis-gendered female and do dress feminine most days, although I wouldn’t necessarily say I identify as “femme”. So why the title? I would say that I identify as feminine and the shortened name does have another meaning, but for the purpose of this blog it’s just the shortened version of the longer word.

It’s been slightly less than a month since I started this blog and I’m proud of my baby [blog] hehe. A lot of my posts are grief-related as currently I am grieving the loss of a friend. For the short time my blog has been around, I think it’s doing pretty well and for the most part, it’s keeping up with the topics I have listed above that I want to write about. Thanks, zero to hero writing challenge for helping me reflect on this blog and fine-tune it for 2014. Here’s to a better blogging year!

Have a cup of tea and keep warm, it’s getting cold, at least where I am.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/zero-to-hero/


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